not weird; different

First of all, thanks for the birthday wishes. They were (are) much appreciated.

October 6 2009, 22:30

Well, I haven’t been so good about that whole writing thing. But it’s not because nothing has been happening. If I were to think up an excuse, I would probably say it’s because I’ve been feeling a little sick this past week. I took a few very necessary mid-afternoon naps this week and have been ODing on vitamin C in hopes that I can battle whatever it is that is causing my throat to feel swollen when I wake up in the morning. Whatever it is, I’m not pleased.
Tonight, Kristen and I had a much needed de-frag in English. We sat downstairs and just talked out our frustrations and the walls we’re running into navigating through the different cultural system and our own different experiences in the states. Anywhere from the classroom, to homework expectations, making friends and what it is that people do here. As far as we can tell, a lot of students don’t do much. They study and work but don’t go out. For us, that’s weird. Even as studious people, there’s something to going out/ hanging out with friends sometimes and not being cooped up all the time.
We both, separately, had very frustrating days. The African dance class was cancelled (there’s some sort of strike going on, again) and the system continues to be really annoying. One thing we’ve noticed is that Martinique has adopted a lot of the western culture, but it hasn’t retained all the good parts (organization) and has instead lost some of its own creole culture. I have the pleasure of seeing McDonalds and KFC on street corners but it took 3 days of searching to finally find the right place to get the student bus passes. Sometimes it just seems absolutely absurd.
Another thing I personally find really difficult is some of the formality that comes from the [older] French culture. I find that, for example, Florence (who lived downstairs at Mme Mitrail’s house) is very informal, comfortable and conversational with me. She’s laid back and very friendly. Hence, the older French culture. But in situations like the classroom, students are usually very hesitant to answer professor’s questions, are almost intimidated (it seems) and when they do speak, it’s in a very formal way. Coming from a Willamette classroom which is at once more informal and more engaging, this is uncomfortable for me. Students copy what the professors say as if they are dictating. They take “notes” in paragraphs and sentences. Weird. Not weird; different.

9 October 2009

To continue on that thought, for example, Kristen and I use the “vous” (formal) form of you when addressing Youma. It feels funny. We live together, share a kitchen (which might drive Kristen and I insane at some point soon) and interact on a personal level. Yet, we address her formally and will do so until such point as she tells us it’s okay to use the informal “tu-toi.” Returning to the kitchen, however, addresses another minor discomfort. And I say minor because I am beyond happy to be living here with hot water, privacy and a friend. Sharing a kitchen with upstairs is like having a really bad roommate except that you could sit down and talk to a roommate about leaving food out overnight and rarely doing their dishes and the massive amounts of ants crawling all over the counters, floors, into my food and up my arms and legs as a result of the food everywhere. Furthermore, Youma had the brilliant idea to trade 7 kittens for two puppies. Maybe I’m confused but outdoors cats are a lot easier (and cheaper) to take care of then puppies who are going to grow to mid-thigh height. A fact she bragged to us about. The logic of this evades me but the annoyance comes from them living downstairs and outside and constantly trying to come in our door- where they are absolutely not allowed, according to her.
But it’s nice to sit back, reflect and remind myself that this is life. Some of the frustration I’m dealing with is purely Martiniquais culture shock and other parts are just frustration that I’d feel anywhere. But, oh culture shock. I thought it’d be a quick “wow this is different” and then accept it, adjust accordingly and get on with my life. Except that my life is here. And a month and a half in and I’m still sitting back and saying “god, it’s just SO different.” This afternoon, I feel great but it’s after a week or so of being really frustrated and angry at the situation. Not regret at being here, per se, but a general sort of disappointment in myself for being unprepared and shocked and upset. I was also disappointed in Martinique for not being everything I expected and wanted it to be, upset at Martinique for being so frustrating and irritating.
But, a professor I have for English Civilization, while explaining the French system of analyzing articles and writing dissertations, replied to my shocked face (it’s very strict and dry) by reminding me that I’m not just here to learn the language, and that this will help me learn how the French think and it will help us to understand them as people. It’s so easy to forget my goals when everyday is a roller coaster ride of emotions, frustration, irritation, confusion, boredom, pure happiness and contentedness, stress and anxiety about how I am going to get through this. But then again, I knew going into it that it wasn’t going to be easy. I just forgot what that meant.
Classes are going pretty well, though, and causing their fair share of stress. An interesting difference between the system here and back at Willamette is that there is not necessarily more coursework expected outside of the classroom, but that the coursework is purely voluntary. There is very little “homework” given in the sense that a professor will tell you to read a book and that’s it. It’s up to the student to look up more information, read criticism, analyze, etc. In my course on English civilization, which is really just a history/politics course on the US and UK, we learn a bunch of stuff in the 2 hours of lecture but then, as I learned, it’s up to us to actually learn and KNOW the entire UK government system. There’s a bibliography given of recommended books but since books are so hard to get ahold of (especially in English!), there’s no one book assigned. Students are expected to be way more motivated here, but for the most part, aren’t! The professor I mentioned earlier regularly gets aggravated in class because no one seems to want to be there. And she told me that many of them don’t want to. It’s so cheap to go to college, and many students even receive scholarships for living expenses, that students can go for 5 years (it’s a 3 year program down here) and never get anything done. It costs 300-500 Euros a year to go there. When I explain to other students what we pay in the states, their jaws hit the ground. “thousand!?” they ask. Yes, thousand.
My birthday, as well, went pretty well. It was a day here, like any other day, with ups and downs but I decided the day before that I was going to enjoy it and that it was going to be a good day and it was. It started off gloriously, raining, dreary and barely chilly. I went for a run and finally had a use for the underarmor I brought “just in case.” Then I made myself “pain perdu” (“freedom” toast) and enjoyed it with sliced banana and a little bottle of maple syrup I brought “for emergencies.” Given the slightly “chilly” weather (and the bit of sickness I’ve felt coming on), I took the opportunity to wear leggings and a long sleeve shirt: things I miss. I had 4 hours of class which was less than fun but the German exchange students gave me big birthday hugs. After hours of class, I was exhausted, by this time very hot and feeling pretty down and bummed about celebrating my 21st birthday in Martinique. When I got home, Youma said we were going to the movies to celebrate my birthday. It wasn’t a huge deal but it was really nice and turned out fun. We saw the new Quentin Tarantino movie, Inglorious Basterds which was great (but gory) and almost entirely in French (thanks to dubbing). Or it was in English or German with subtitles.
Today is Friday and tomorrow there is some sort of “surprise” planned for me (I think we’re going on a hike?) and then maybe we’ll have a little party at the house? Nothing huge. Sunday, Kristen and I are planning to hike Mt Pelée. She’s extremely motivated and on top of things and found out that this Sunday (and this Sunday only!) we can get a guided hike of Pelée and learn about all the flora and geology for 12 Euros. Totally a snag. So that’s the plan.
I’ve spent the past few days consuming massive amounts of vitamin C, which is extremely easy here thanks to oranges, mandarins, goyaves (guava), melon (cantaloupe) … and orange juice. My lymph nodes were unreasonably swollen but seem better today. I continue to be eaten alive by mosquitoes, but thanks to a mousticaire (mosquito net) surrounding my bed, I’m not devoured in my sleep. Plus, I have a gigantic fan. Living here is way better.
As much as I’m offended by all the jerks- for example the other morning at the bus stop a man who was probably in his mid-40s told me about 5 times in a 3 minute conversation that he lives alone- there are occasionally people who renew my faith in humanity and the people of Martinique. On my birthday, as I got ready to run up the big gigantic hill that leads to the house, an older man, as I passed and said “bonjour” replied with “Bonjour, bon courage!” As I was walking to school one day last week, all of a sudden the sky started dumping water and a woman who lives down the street from me pulled over and gave me a ride to campus. The marchand (fruit and veggie vendor) up the street from Mme Mitrail’s house is always nice. I had to go by Mme Mitrails house for a letter and walked up the block to say hello to him and pick up some fruit. He had me sit down and we talked about Martinique, the history of slavery, healthcare reform in the states and apparently Obama is winning the Nobel Prize for peace? I love how the average Martiniquais knows more about what’s going on in my country than I do. Not having internet access makes it sort of hard to keep in touch with the world… When I went to leave, he told me to close my wallet and tried to let me walk away with a bunch of bananas, some little plums, 2 tomatoes, 5 pomme cannelles and an avocado for free. I bought some sort of pie things for 2 Euros and threw in an extra one for good measure. He’s awesome.
Such is life in Martinique. Being a little sick is definitely a bummer but my French is progressing beautifully and everyday is a learning experience. I’m still waiting for a lot of packages which will probably arrive sometime around December, if I’m lucky…

Thanks for all the love and support. I would have gone completely insane by now if it weren’t for it. All my love in return,
Bethany