december?

Sunday Dec 1 2009 20:45

December already!? Geez. Where do the days go?

I’ll tell you where they go. Here and there and everywhere. Friday I didn’t leave the house all day. I worked on homework, among other things. Other things including epic letter writing. I also had Florence over for a “thé” which was fun. We hung out and talked about family and life and her work and Martinique and the people we go to the beach with, etc. It was fun. Saturday was insane. It started at 8 am and ended in the wee hours of Sunday. The morning was spent in Voclan doing who knows what- wandering aimlessly and taking pictures and waiting for Youma to get back from some sort of rendez-vous she had with someone to get a friend’s son an apprenticeship… typical Youma trying to help people things. This aimlessness, lack of liberty, early morning, hot ferocious sun and the stress of having a lot of work to do put me in a pretty sour mood. We went to a beach and swam a little bit but I wasn’t feeling it too much. Then we went to a contemporary art market in Marin (which is why I went along on the morning adventure- to get a ride to the southern part of the island) and thankfully ran into a friend who I was hoping to see and we walked around and goofed off. She lives in Marin and goes home every weekend because the residences at school are lame. Plus, it’s only an hour away. After a while of hanging out with her friends and taking silly pictures (I’m not so good at being serious for photos), I left and the original crew of Youma, Mag-d (her friend) and two of mag-d’s seven children and I went to Trois Illets for a Bélé class! It was SO FUN to dance. I also learned a lot in the class and feel super great about that. Bélé dancing is amazing. I love love love love love love love it.
We got home around 7 or 7 15 and I had just enough time to take a shower and get my things together before I was picked up to go baby sitting for Hélene and Luc, taking care of Romane and Chloé. I had the pleasure of eating dinner with the kids which was pretty annoying because they’re supposed to stay at the table and I don’t like being an authority figure and saying if you kids don’t stop goofing off you’re not going to get desert or get to play or get a bed-time story. But, of course they ended up getting all of those things and I still had 3 hours to sit around on the interwebs. Baby sitting is a sweet gig except for getting home at 1 am.
Today was spent studying. Reading in French. Reading in my bed, outside in the sun, laying in a hammock, standing around the kitchen… you get the point. A lot a lot of reading. And I successfully buckled down with a little concentration which is pretty hard for me, often. I just have to make myself do it. But when I do, man, it happens.
I still have quite a bit of work to do. In general. I can’t wait for Friday to come. Two final projects turned in and all I’ll have to worry about is studying the American/British governments and political systems for one final exam, finishing reading the books I was reading all day today and reviewing a bunch for another final exam (this is the only one I’m worried about) and reviewing my Camus notes for my other exam. That’s it. And I have a week or so before my finals. Come Dec 15 and I’ll be done with school and have 6 days to explore, adventurize, pack my bags and get my business together. Weird.
Tonight, I needed to rest my brain from studying. I was writing in my notebook, uploading my photos from my camera and thinking about things. Still brooding on the question of whether I could stay. Except I already answered whether I could. For the past few days, it’s been whether I want to. I’ve sort of been feeling like I don’t want to leave. Of course I don’t- leaving is always hard and don’t I know it oh so well… oh too well, I think. But whether I want to stay is a whole different topic. And tonight I realized, no, I don’t. I am so looking forward to being back. Not looking forward to it enough that I don’t want to leave, not looking forward to it enough that I want these next 3 weeks to go any faster than I know they are going to, not looking forward to it enough that I would want to be home now, but looking forward to it nonetheless. It’ll be nice.
Of course, it’ll be super hard. Thermal shock, culture shock, family shock, life shock, big changes and big unchanges. I’ll come back different and the same and my life at home (in the US) will be different and the same. Normal sorts of things. But there are some things I am really looking forward to, other than the big things I always mention.
1. Silence. Oh sweet, melodious silence. The silence of a snowy, freezing cold night when everyone has already gone to bed and I’m wandering around the house in IL wearing sweatpants and a wool sweater and there are lights up on the Christmas tree and twinkling lights outside, reflecting blue on the icy white surface of the snow which is covering everything and the cats are sleeping in the living room, wearing staring at me with one half-open eye and the quiet is so encompassing that with each small sound of creaking floorboards I worry about disturbing the soft breathing sounds of people, animals, trees, walls, streets and my own beating heart.
Silence I haven’t heard for too long. My life constantly filled with barking dogs ALWAYS BARKING, screaming, chirping bugs at night, blowing fans, passing cars, my own mind spinning and whirring.
2. Darkness. The kind of darkness seen only in the middle of nowhere in the Midwest when driving across the country alone. The darkness which is punctuated by street lamps, head lights, the kind of darkness where you can see your own turn signal in the nighttime. The kind of darkness where the sky is as close to black as it gets and the stars are blindingly bright. The kind of darkness I haven’t seen in months thanks to light pollution. The kind of northern hemisphere stars I haven’t seen for months. THE BIG DIPPER!!!
3. Warming showers instead of cooling showers. Down comforters and pillows with some sort of neck support. Hardwood floors instead of tile, no more mosquitoes, no more cockroaches, a lot less sweat, no more worrying about sunburns, no more heat rash (after 4 months of bumps!)
Yeah, there’s a lot to look forward to. And a lot I’ll miss. Such is life, life goes on, so it goes, etc.
Love, bethany